Here in Provo we have a river trail that is commonly the crime scene for women getting raped.
There was one that recently happened that everyone has been talking about.
All of my coworkers were talking about it one day, and my manager said this:
"She was so dumb for going out on the river trail alone at night! I mean, I feel bad that she got raped and all but you have to be stupid to think that it is okay to go out running alone on that river trail!"
I was completely appalled that a person could think like this.
Women should be able to go wherever they want, wearing whatever they want and do whatever they want, without the fear of being raped.
It is truly sad that we are expected to live by a rapists schedule.
Men should should be expected to have control over themselves enough to not be raping people.
Many girls who are raped are accused of "asking for it" because of the way they dress.
We blame these girls because their skirts are too short or their shirts are too low and "men really can't control themselves when they get turned on" so therefor, it is the girls fault.
Utah has the most reported rapes, so why do you think this is?
I believe that it is because in the Mormon religion and culture we are taught to suppress our sexual and angry feelings because they are "bad".
If one suppresses all their life, these emotions have to come out in some way and at some time.
Most rape is about control, not sex.
I believe this roots from addiction, and addiction usually turns into control and abuse of some sort.
Those who are abused all of their lives feel a lack of control, they are hurting and are angry, but everyone tells them to suppress and to "just get over it and stop being angry."
This, for obvious reasons, many times leads to psychological problems.
These men are sick and want to take control of these women.
Rape is traumatic and scary and it leaves most women terrified and scarred.
So why are we blaming these suffering women who just want to live their lives?
Why are we making them think it's their faul when it isn't in any way.
No girl ever asks to get raped.
If you know someone who gets raped, the best thing to do for them is to believe them completely and just listen.
Don't try to get the story out of them, don't turn it on yourself.
Let them hurt as long as they need, be there for them and love them.
You can't fix what happened, you can't make it go away so don't try.
The best way for them to heal is to feel all of the pain and grow and learn from it.
They are hurting a lot and they need someone who isn't trying to control them in any way.
Please just stop blaming the victims and love them instead.
